Concerning Family

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Concerning Family

Kid's Rule, Literally

     On a regular basis, some church or pastor calls me at least once a month looking for church staff personnel. The most often requested position is youth pastor.  Their appeal usually includes some of the following statements:

"We are losing our young people"

"We've got to offer something for our youth"

"We need a young person who can relate to the youth"

"Our youth are not that interested in church, we need more activities to draw them"

"We want to give the kids what they want so we need someone who will let them listen to their kind of music"

      The motive of these desperate people is usually unquestionable. They are concerned about their youth and the future of the church. The problem, however, is this: they have fallen prey to the old liberal philosophy that kids are supposed to rule and set the standard. Years ago, the world bought into this bankrupt philosophy and the church followed suit almost immediately. I have noticed that most of the churches concerned about losing their youth and incorporate worldly programs, have already lost them. Oh, they may have them physically in attendance, but they have lost them morally and spiritually.

     Children and youth do not need someone who can "relate" to them as much as they need authority to guide them and set and maintain standards. In the quest to make the Bible relevant, we have lowered standards and lost the respect of those we are trying to reach and teach, then we wonder what went wrong.

     The tired old mantra I keep hearing is that we have to accept the dress and music of kids today (though not all new Christian music is bad, most of it is shallow and caters to the flesh).  Why? Aren't we supposed to set the standard? Notice, I am not speaking of tossing out sinners who don't conform exactly to what I expect in their appearance. We should welcome and love the lost and try to earnestly win them. I am talking about the church kids who are supposed to be already following Christ and can be taught.   I am glad when the lost with or without a worldly appearance, visit our church. Christian standards for them is not a priority. Winning them to Christ is the priority. Teaching should then follow.

     Why do so many have a defeatist attitude? Why do we have to accept the ungodly dress, piercings, language, attitudes and disrespect in modern MTV youth culture, as the standard for our youth? The answer is, we don't. Instead of accepting a pagan standard, we should establish a regenerated standard. But you better put on your boxing gloves and get ready for a fight.  Be prepared, the biggest battle will be with the parents and church leaders. Then, having done all, stand.

       Joseph Harris is the Vice President of Southeastern Baptist College in Laurel, MS.(This article may be reprinted in whole, as long as the name Joseph Harris and www.miniedition.net also appear)

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might." Ephesians 6:10

Day Care Versus Family....Again

Here’s a big slap in the face against the family. Research by a major University has revealed startling new information. "Children kept in day cares are better off than those cared for by extended family, friends and neighbors." I think I will include this new "truth" in my collection of MILS(Mythological Insane Ludicrous Statements), some of which are: (1) The separation of church and state (2) Homosexuality is determined before birth (3) Big business wants to ruin the environment (4) Consenting children and teenagers should have sex (5) The Dems are for the little guy, the GOP wants to poison air and water.....to name a few.

Common sense and history will tell you that parents and family take better care of children than anyone else. The reason, they say, for the difference is because of qualifications. The experts say that kids kept by those who "do not have the specific training"(did you get that?) do not get the same developmental, educational stimulation they would otherwise receive from professionals. In other words, it's the same old party line. State or state approved agencies with "qualified, certified, credentialed workers can do a better job taking care of your children than family or close friends. I'll take grandma's lack of formal childcare education replaced by her wisdom and true love for my children any day, over a paid worker. Children need love and security as much as they need physical nourishment. Now if we were talking about medical care, the situation would be different.

In the Gospel of John chapter 10, Jesus described the difference between a shepherd and a hireling. The difference was love. I know Jesus was not speaking of day cares in the passage, but the common sense principle is the same. The hireling runs when predators come to steal and kill the sheep, because the only interest he has is his paycheck. The shepherd, however, will give his own life saving the sheep, because he owns them and loves them. Though I'm sure there are some good day care workers out there, I'm also certain that few, if any volunteer their time at their facility(excluding the miniscule number of volunteer retirees). They have to be paid.

The study also stated that the more educated the parent, the more likely they were to leave their child with a licensed stranger than with a relative, thereby proving formal care is the smartest choice. Well, there is always another side to every statistic. It says to me, the educated parents aren't that smart. Education in itself does not guarantee wisdom, discernment, and common sense. My question is this: how many of those parents were partially reared in a day care?

God's way is always best. Sometimes, a single parent with no family support may have to temporarily choose an alternative like day care. But you just can't improve on God's plan for the family, beginning with a married, heterosexual couple who fears God and commits to rear their children in the fear, nurture, and admonition of God, guided by the scriptures, with a parent or family tending to the children. Joseph Harris www.miniedition.net

Are You A Stay At Home Mom? (For ladies only)

Are you a stay at home Mom? A new "official" university report was released with results that come as no surprise to common sense thinkers. Babies who are kept at home by Mom for their first year perform better academically after beginning school. Like I said, no surprise for those who are already tuned in to reality and scriptural principles. You just can't improve on God's way.

Recently, I was in a store in our town and was talking to a young mother with a child about the age of my son, then 5 months old. She asked if he went to daycare and I said no, Mom kept him at home. With a genuine sadness in her eyes and voice, she remarked how she wished she could do that. I do not know her situation. She may have been a single Mom or the other working half in her house. I felt deeply for her.

When Scripture says that the young women should be keepers at home, it's for a reason. If there is not a keeper at home, then the home will not be kept. And I'm not talking about house work. It's all about the heart, not physical chores. The Mom is the heart of the home and she provides stability and security for children in the home. Before any of our children were born, my wife and I committed to her being at home with the children full time, at least until they began to go to school. It was difficult financially, but the right choice and we would not change a thing if we had to do it all over. God blesses decisions made according to his Word.

Too often, Christians swallow the lie of the career Mom who "has" to work outside the home, while leaving the children in day care or with individuals. Mom, if you have children, THEY are your CAREER, and motherhood is not just a "good" thing: it's the highest calling in the world for every woman God blesses with children.

My wife went back to teaching in a Christian school after our daughter started school(she was a "career woman with a M.Ed.). Then, we founded a Christian school where she was administrator. It existed for one year. When news came that my wife was expecting, we closed the school after one year(now she home schools) so she could pursue her higher calling back at home. That cut us back to my income only. Well, shades of Hezekiah, our financial picture has improved to an even better status now, with my income only, than when we had her income also, last year. Let me say it one more time: GOD BLESSES WHEN YOU FOLLOW HIS PLAN.

I challenge you, working Mom, turn it over to God and take back the control and influence of your children. Some day cares may boast of "quality care", but NO ONE else will love your children and care for them with the quality which YOU provide. YOU are God's designated "quality care provider". Do it for God and your children. Joseph Harris www.miniedition.net

July 8, 2005 Mini Edition by Joseph Harris Number 145

The Desecration of Granny

I am old fashioned. I'm a fuddy duddy. I am square and proud of it. I have expectations about certain things. I expect people to be kind, decent, compassionate, and friendly. Men should be masculine, decisive and brave. Women should be feminine, sweet and supportive. I expect Children to be obedient and respectful. And Grandmothers should be, well.... Grandmotherly.

I was recently flying back from a speaking engagement in Nebraska and saw this sweet old Grandmother on board the plane. She was with her son or grandson and he had the typical thug look. Tattoos were all over his head and arms, with multiple piercings on the face and who knows where else. Grandma had silver hair, a crocheted shawl with tassels, a blue flower print dress, white socks and tennis shoes. Oh, and one other thing; a colorful tattoo right above one of her ankles. I was shocked, and I don't shock easily. The tattoo was inconsistent with Grandma's overall appearance. It was as out of place as a piano at a Church of Christ convention.

Whatever happened to the cookie-baking-garden-making Grandmothers(to quote my wife)? My Grandmother was from the old school. Liquor, tobacco and cursing were never associated with her lips. She always dressed modestly, and never wore "men's britches" as she called them. She was a Godly example for her children and grandchildren. When staying with her in the summer time, my sisters and I always attended every service of revival meeting at Vardaman Street Baptist Church. They had a strange habit of meeting early for morning services. Each morning service began around 6:00 am, so people would have time to go to church before going to work. Grandma always pulled me out of bed for these services. We did not miss a one.

The typical Grandmother of today is a far cry from yesterday. Today's Grandma is usually more concerned about her appearance and itinerary, instead of nurturing a relationship with her grandchildren. Now you modern Grannies hold on before you get your feathers in a huff. I am not saying today's Grandmothers have to fit the exact visual stereotype of my Grandmother. There are some Grandmothers who are younger in their "grandmaternity" than my Grandmother, but they do not dress or act their age. A Grandmother can still by stylish, yet dress appropriate and modestly. Many of today's Grandmothers are more concerned about looking young and "relating" to their grandchildren. Grandchildren do not need a big sister, they need a Grandmother. Grandmothers should be Godly, dress modestly, and exemplify Christ in all they do.

In the Bible, Timothy was a great preacher and was strongly influenced by his Mother, Eunice and his Grandmother Lois. The unfeigned faith Paul spoke of, which dwelt in Timothy, was found "first in Lois....", his Grandmother . It was then passed on to grandson Timothy through his mother, but Grandmother Lois is given the credit. Lois is an example of a Godly Grandmother who left a heritage that inspired for generations.

I know I am an old fashioned fuddy duddy, out of step with the times, but hey, I got it honestly. It's part of the heritage left to me by my Grandmother and I wouldn't trade it for the world. God bless Godly Grandmothers.

Joseph Harris is the Chairman of Biblical Studies at Southeastern Baptist College in Laurel, MS.(This article may be reprinted in whole, as long as the name Joseph Harris and www.miniedition.net also appear)

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Give your Grandmother a hug today.